Dear Aspen,
I’m getting tired of the mother role in my apartment. Constantly picking up after my roommates and doing all the chores — it’s driving me crazy. How do I solve this problem without just throwing all the dirty dishes away?
Sincerely,
Modern-day Cinderella
Doesn’t it make you miss the days of assigned chores and nagging mothers who wouldn’t let you leave the house until the bathroom was clean? It may have put a damper on your free spirit back then, but at least you didn’t have to scrub an area of the mirror every day to see yourself in it.
Caring for and maintaining a house is a new responsibility that many of us don’t even think about when we first move out, and it can be incredibly frustrating when you feel as though you have to babysit your roommate(s) to ensure things are being taken care of.
Moms didn’t have such a bad idea. If you’ve tried the freedom approach — allowing each roommate to exercise his/her discretion and clean when they think it’s necessary — and it just isn’t working, it may be time for a more clear-cut solution. My suggestion? A chore chart.
Before you scoff and write me off as another crackpot advice columnist, think about it. One of the biggest problems is deciding whose turn it is or when is the proper time to clean. With a chart, each roommate would be able to see clearly what needs to be done, who needs to do it and when it should be completed.
The next step would be to implement a reward or punishment system agreed upon by all members of the household. Without a reason, those roommates who tend to be a bit lazier around the house won’t be inclined to contribute. Perhaps a beer jar, where the guilty party must drop a dollar for each day they’re late, and the funds can be used for a house party, after the house is clean. Or a toilet paper/laundry detergent/general amenities fund (as that is another fight often heard in my house).
Ultimately, the situation will not be taken care of without communication (sound familiar?). The difference between the present and the days of grounding and allowances is that now we are the adults who should be able to discuss problems straightforwardly and without bias. Give your roommates the respect they deserve as an adult and respect yourself — speak out against the problem.
(And if that doesn’t work, you could always try hiding those dirty dishes under the culprit’s bed. Sometimes even adults can’t resist some sweet revenge).
