Dear Aspen,

I feel like I’m ready for a relationship, but there doesn’t seem to be one in my near future. How do I go about finding one?

It may be that you’re looking in the wrong place. There is an important relationship in your life that you may be overlooking: your relationship with yourself. While you may think you are missing something in your life that can be attributed to another person, it may be that you are lacking something internally.

We spend more time alone than with any other person. It makes sense, then, that our overall well-being can depend dramatically on the relationship we have with ourselves. Building a strong personal relationship can make “being alone” not feel so terrible and set you up for a more meaningful relationship with another in the future.

Take some time each day to do something with yourself. The activity doesn’t have to be athletic, although those have added benefits. It can be something as simple as taking a 15 minute walk every day, working on a puzzle or reading a novel you’ve been putting off for a long time.

If you’re like many and miss a day when building this habit, don’t worry that this will set you back. Research has shown that while more consistency in the beginning can shorten the time it takes to build a habit, skipping a day will not make it any harder to build. Don’t be unrealistic. If your day is just too full to spend time every day with a fun activity, every other day can work too.

In this fast-paced world it can be easy to forget how important it is to take care of ourselves. But don’t skimp, either. Taking the time to satisfy your personal needs can lessen the stress of other activities in your life. Getting outside for a few minutes each day can relax and focus your mind, making school and work more manageable.