What began as a foray into defying extinction to bring dinosaurs back to the present ended in tragedy. A man-made pack of “Chickenosaurus” escaped and left a trail of death and destruction across Bozeman.

MSU’s renowned professor and paleontologist Jack Horner recently rocked the university with his announcement that a bio-engineering effort to recreate dinosaurs out of chicken eggs was underway. The experiments fared better than expected—before long an entire pack of Chickenosaurs had been bred. Scientists and dinosaur lovers worldwide rejoiced.

Horner said, “We went all out on this and spared no expense!”

Detractors still emerged. The third grade class of Hawthorne Elementary complained the Chickenosaurs were nothing more than “six-foot turkeys” and demanded to know when they’d get to see the “cool dinosaurs.”

Neil Sheen, a prominent chaos theorist, also voiced his objection, “You may call them a discovery, but to me it’s a rape of the natural world.”

The brilliant discovery turned into a horror story when a mysterious power outage released the Chickenosaurs from their holding pens. The wild pack rampaged through Bozeman, first devouring every horse at the stables and three dogs leashed outside Renne Library before disappearing.

“That’s chaos theory,” Sheen remarked at the incident.

The pack reappeared to crash a pre-Dead Week bonfire. The Chickenosaurs took down a gang of cycling hipsters fleeing from the scene. As they were torn limb from limb, an unnamed onlooker mused, “Perhaps those lizards aren’t all bad.”

Horner wasted no time in taking responsibility for the incident. He ventured into Hyalite Canyon, the last location the Chickenosaurs had been sighted, with nothing more than a loaded tranquilizer gun and a lead pipe. He never returned, although recovered video footage shows he fought valiantly until a Chickenosaur snuck up on him from behind. His last words were purportedly, “Clever girl...”

The Chickenosaur pack is still at large.