Cold season is here. The sounds of sniffles and coughs fill the air. It’s the time of year when you realize which bathrooms have paper towels and which ones have only hand-driers, forcing you to wait for someone to leave a stall just so you can blow your nose with toilet paper.  But as you stay in bed, watching more than your fair share of Netflix and drinking EmergenC, take this into consideration; Clarence Mjork’s Top 5 things to do while you fight off your cold.

#5: Don’t watch Netflix all day.

You may be tempted to snuggle up to your laptop in bed with your favorite TV series, but as you drift in and out of a cough-syrup-induced consciousness, constantly watching a show will have negative effects. The lines of reality will blur, and it is doubtful that your professor will accept an essay about the Walking Dead.

#4: Drink fluids, but not beer.

I know you may be on the mend and believe you can socialize, but do the rest of campus a favor and keep your germs out of the beer-pong gene flow. Also, I heard once that not drinking excessive amounts of alcohol while you’re sick increases your recovery time. Sounds legit.

#3: Here’s another possibly made up fact:

Coming up with things to do while you’re sick is hard.

#2: This fact isn’t made up:

Posting on Facebook about how much it sucks to have a cold will not make you better. Writing a letter to your older relatives however, will. You’ll be happy you accomplished something, and they’ll be happy to hear from you and will probably send you a care package.

#1: Take a shower.

This is less for you and more for the rest of us. When you finally crawl out of your hole and throw on some sweatpants to venture out for more medicine, it’d be nice if we couldn’t actually see the layer of bed funk on you. Thanks.