Who doesn’t love watching people slip and slide on the ice? Since the university has decided to stop removing snow from parts of the campus, it’s becoming more and more likely each day that you’ll take a tumble that makes everyone in your vicinity chuckle. So if you want your legs swept out from under you like one of the stick people on those wet floor signs, boy do I have the spot for you. Cutting right through the sidewalk on 8th Ave and Cleveland by Jabs Hall is a big wide driveway (why? That’s beside the point). But it’s perfectly slanted, never cleared off and they really like to put a big hunk of gravel on it that just freezes over and makes the whole problem worse. You can’t walk around it, so the best you can do is waddle over it like a little lost penguin and hope you either make it or no one’s around to laugh when you do fall. My opinion - just avoid the whole sidewalk entirely when you can, or take your friends for entertainment purposes. 


I think the greatest place to watch the festivities of the fallen is on the sidewalk between Robert’s and 6th Ave. The early morning 8 a.m. commuters rushing to class are never quite ready for the patches of ice that await them. It’s especially fun watching people do the grandma shuffle on the ice trying not to fall, and then falling nonetheless. People on their bikes also find themselves laid waste at this intersection. Only seasoned students know how and when to avoid the sidewalk, preferring the snowy grass route that is treacherous in and of itself. There are the few, the dangerous few, who double down on the ice laden path and decide it is smart to try and make a high speed slide across it. Their falls are the funniest.


The best place to slip and fall on the ice on campus is without a doubt in the middle of that big lawn between Reid and Romney. There are plenty of sidewalks cutting random directions in this area, but when it's cold out and you’re walking from, say, the VCB to the SUB, you (reasonably) want to get places as the crow flies instead of how whoever planned the sidewalks on this campus has suggested. Risking life and limb is no big sacrifice to get out of the cold ASAP. This locale has everything: a super narrow, uneven pathway made completely out of ice, nothing with which to help yourself back up once you’re down, besides more snow, and lots of people everywhere to laugh at you. If you fall here, people will probably just walk through the untrodden snow around you instead of helping you up. Immortalized forever until the spring will be the curve in the icy path around your humiliated person as you struggle to get back on your feet.


While admittedly I tend to slide across the ice more often than fall, I do still actually have a favorite spot from my first year up here. Even during the years the snow is removed from the pathways on campus, there always manages to be ice on the sidewalks outside of the Rendezvous Dining Pavilion. Not only do they usually wind up iced, but to make things better most of the sidewalk is curved. Walk on said sidewalk at the right angle, and manage to slip on the ice just right, then you too can slip on the ice and fall on your back similar to a low budget christmas movie or a looney tunes cartoon just like I did.