DISCLAIMER: This is a satirical piece. It does not necessarily represent the views of the Exponent or its writers and should not be construed as truth.

On Wednesday, March 24, during an editorial staff meeting at the Exponent, Editor-in-Chief Grace Larsen and nine other members of the team were arrested by campus police. There is limited information available at this time, but the MSU Police Department (UPD) released a short statement last Thursday morning, March 25, explaining the situation. What seemed to have started weeks ago, with Larsen finding cocaine in some avocados, quickly became a scheme to sell the drug out of the Exponent office to make up for a decline in ad revenue coming in (thanks a lot, Abby). UPD was notified of the drug scheme when a gas leak in the SUB on Wednesday night, March 24, caused a building-wide search. What this means for the Exponent is up in the air, but stay tuned for updates as the story continues to develop.