DISCLAIMER: This is a satirical piece. It does not necessarily represent the views of the Exponent or its writers and should not be construed as truth.

In honor of Bozeman being named “the best ski town in America” by Wikipedia, MSU will be constructing a 900,000-square-foot indoor ski resort, making it the largest indoor ski resort on the globe. The Harbin Wanda Indoor Ski Resort, located in China, comes in a close second. MSU’s “Super Dome'' will be kept at a lovely 28 degrees Fahrenheit, day and night, as the center will be open from 7 a.m. - 12 a.m. After 6 p.m. daily, the digitalized walls and ceiling will transform from bluebird skies and evergreen trees to disco balls and black lights.

 “This will be a great addition to our already booming campus,” said President Caded Wruzado. “We hope this will increase student enrollment as we are bringing the Cold Smoke even closer.”

The resort will be covered in over 200-tons of powder and will feature beginner, intermediate and advanced runs as well as a sick freestyle terrain park. For those who have yet to learn how to hit the slopes, there will also be a bunny hill and a place to rent all the required gear inside. If you want to save yourself the embarrassment of not being able to make it up the magic carpet without falling and entangling your skies, a sledding hill will also be located in the vicinity.

Rumor has it, the 2026 Winter Olympics will be held right here in the Super Dome. Roskie Hall will accommodate all athletes, providing them with the best sleeping environments inside the spacious, unique, pizza-shaped rooms, and Miller Dining Commons will provide five-course meals to competitors as well. To control the swarm of expected visitors, MSU will schedule a two-week early spring break during Feb. 2026, to cut down on the traffic through campus.

“I can’t wait for Shaun White to sign my toboggan,” said speed skater Nyah Boyd, an MSU sophomore training for the 2026 Winter Olympics.

Not only will this be a solution for students who lack the time to drive to Bridger Bowl between homework and classes, but also a solution to the effects of climate change, which has decreased annual snowfall over the years, resulting in a shorter ski season. Like Norm Asbjornson Hall, the Super Dome will be built to LEED Platinum certification, making it the highest-rated green building in the certification program.

Whether you have been “sending it” since you were three years-old or you just want to enjoy sledding with your classmates from Texts and Critics, MSU’s Super Dome is for everyone.

The Super Dome ski resort will cover what is currently the Norm Asbjornson parking lot and the large grass lot located behind. Due to the lack of parking spaces available, additional parking will be built behind Corgi Stadium (see the feature on pages eight and nine for more background information). This massive resort does not come cheap, however. The entire construction will cost $10 million, which will be funded by a raise in tuition of $300 per semester for every student. Furthermore, students who choose to visit the Super Dome will have to pay an additional $150 in fees per month.