It's getting chilly outside, is it time to couple up?

Well readers, it's officially that time of year when I call my mother in tears about how I will die alone, then go home and continue my insufferable complaining to my roommate. But not everyone has to be that way. We are coming out of the beginning of the semester break-up season, but deep enough in, people have begun to move on and are starting to open their eyes to other prospects. 

   The idea of cute pumpkin patch dates and cold nights had led some of us — including me — to start dropping some of the semi-delusional expectations we had to not be alone. But I and an expert on the topic are here to impart some wisdom in hopes you can go into this season of “cuffing” confidently.

   "Cuffing” season marks the time of year, usually starting in October, when many short-term relationships begin. These typically last until about the beginning of April, just in time to become "uncuffed" and move on for summer festivities. While this short-term relationship isn't super intriguing to some, getting cuffed for the cold months has some profound benefits. 

   Humans are not a solitary species. We are meant to spend time with others and feel human connection. This is seen in the mental health aspect of the “cuffing” season. 

   Dr. Kate Kujawa of the MSU Psychology Department spoke to me about the benefits of human connection during these colder months. 

   "People crave human connection in many ways, and we live in a climate where we are going to see rapidly diminishing daylight hours. It can feel really lonely, and so, having that human connection and skin-to-skin contact does positive things for our bodies and minds," Kujawa said. "Skin-to-skin contact gives us huge boosts in oxytocin. It helps to improve our mood with serotonin and dopamine."

   A direct relationship exists between seasonal affective disorder (SAD) and “cuffing” season, with a drop in serotonin and intense feelings of loneliness mixed with dark, cold nights. 

   "SAD is pretty common in our climate and so finding ways to boost your mood will be incredibly beneficial. Some people might do that through cuffing," Kujawa said. "Others might do that by getting some full spectrum light bulbs or increasing their social activity so they can not feel as isolated in the darker months."

   A few things to consider when deciding if you want to participate in this “cuffing” season are if you are doing this for yourself or societal pressures. Don't let the societal pressures of a relationship get to you. 

   "Take a holistic look at the situation and make a value assessment for yourself. Like, is this something that is right for me? Or is this something I'm being pressured to do by an outside party or societal expectations?" Kujawa said. "Make sure that you're genuinely coming from a place that you're putting yourself first."

   If you have decided that “cuffing” may interest you, consider a few things before booking that tractor ride for two at the hay maze. 

   Be upfront about your intentions with your chosen person. As you both know, this partnership has a tentative expiration date. Both partners should be aware of the situation so neither are blindsided. Maybe April rolls around and you both decide you are actually great together and end up having a fantastic summer together. Or you both decide it's time to close that chapter in your lives and move on. 

     We as humans crave physical touch and we live in a time of sexual liberation with increased access to birth control, so there’s really no better time to go get some. However, ensure you are not pushing down deeper issues and compensating with sex.    

   "Sometimes we have sex because it's fun. Sometimes, we have sex because it's a distraction from things that are more pressing on our minds. And if sex is your coping strategy, that's totally fine. Until it isn't,” Kujawa said. “If it's bothering you or affecting your life negatively, that's the point that you should say, okay, I should probably go get help for this. And that's an internal dialogue that maybe should be aired to a counselor to find a healthier coping strategy."

   Don't simply act out a relationship you are not actually into. Life is too short for crappy sex and partners. So instead, invest in a weighted blanket and maybe a good self-reflection podcast. 

   Now, “cuffing” is not for everyone. Those who choose to go solo through the chilly season, I salute you on your way. However, for those of you not wanting to go on a solo mission, I beg you to not become colorblind to some glaring red flags to the point that you fall into a relationship you never really wanted. 

   "Remember, relationships are mutual. If there's something wrong in a relationship, it takes two parties to work on it. And if one of those parties isn't willing to work on it or acknowledge or discuss it, then that's a serious conversation with yourself if you want to stay in that relationship," Kujawa said. 

   The best advice I have ever been given is that it's better to be alone than to feel alone next to someone and I think many of us can relate to that. 

   With all this being said, if anyone is interested in dating a workaholic redhead or if you have other relationship-based questions you want the Exponent to cover, reach out to: exponententertainment@montana.edu.