It’s dinnertime. You’ve had a long day with two exams and a big project due. The dining hall didn’t have the scones you wanted at lunch, one of the tines on your plastic fork broke off in your throat and you’re craving some comfort food. If you thought this story was going to get any better, I’m here to be the bearer of unfortunate news: it’s about to get worse.
Enter… Taco John’s.
It occurs to you that you’ve never tried Taco John’s before, usually opting for the more popular Taco Bell, and you want to branch out a bit. Considering the pandemic, you decide it would be best to go for the online ordering option, so you call the restaurant to place your order. “Place your order” might be the wrong phrase here, however, because instead you end up being placed on hold for approximately half an hour before the restaurant accepts your order. You’re not too peeved yet because hey, it’s the dinner rush and things happen.
After you list your order, supposedly-legendary Potato Olés© and all, the cashier instructs you to head on over to Taco John’s and hop in the drive-through line to pick up the food that your stomach is grumbling for. Everything is going well, and, given the COVID-19 limited staff numbers, it’s still not a huge deal that the employees ask you to wait ten minutes so they can cook up more crunchy chicken for your burritos. You wait for 10 more minutes, then 20, then you call again to remind them that you exist, then they finally bring out the food another 10 minutes later. Phew.
Wait though, remember that crunchy chicken you ordered and waited for? You get all the way home to discover that Taco John’s has achieved the miraculous feat of making chicken invisible, because it’s not in your burrito. And there’s sour cream, even though you hate sour cream and specifically asked them to leave it out.
If you’re wondering how I made up all these details, it’s because I didn’t. This experience was 100% real (minus the fork tine. I made that up for dramatic effect). If you value your time and your stomach, please kids, say no to Taco John’s.