Human beings are herd animals. Social interaction is imperative for our survival and success. We laugh, cry and celebrate together. We also all have unique traits, passions, values and behavioral patterns that contribute to our society’s diversity. As we get older we learn the things that light us on fire and how these values contribute to our overall strength as an individual. Focusing on these things, instead of the aspects that drive those around us, provides us with the ability to share and learn from others.  Independence and learning how to be comfortable alone are key for strong friendships and relationships. The time we spend together is the most fulfilling when we know how to be apart.

The relationships we have with ourselves are the most important. Easier said than done, right? Learning from our thoughts and emotions, instead of judging them, is probably one of the hardest skills to master. It is important to put ourselves first and our partners second to ensure we maintain the factors that contribute to our beautiful uniqueness. I have witnessed and experienced relationships, whether it be friendships or intimate partnerships, where the two people become one. They do not become one in a cute, romantic way, but instead in a way that results in one, or both, people becoming blind to their own passions and independent interests.

Ensuring we are whole and happy first enables us to share this magic with others. Being confident in ourselves will provide us with the ability to support the endeavors of loved ones, instead of feeling threatened by them. Each person doing their own thing makes adventuring together that much better. Confidence is lost when we become dependent on someone else, as this correlates with losing dependence on ourselves. Partners and friends should be drawn to each other because of the boost in energy and joy they receive from one another, not because they feel incomplete without each other. There is no void in our heart waiting to be filled by another being. Instead, we form relationships to enhance our experiences, learn from each other and be partners in life.

Possessing independence as a strength equals a higher self-esteem. Maintaining unconditional happiness, recognizing that we have complete control of our core emotions, is essential for a healthy mind. This unconditional happiness can be sustained by devoting time to your own passions and pursuing those ideas that light a spark inside of you. A mentally healthy person, a person who knows how to be happy alone and with others, is able to bring more to any relationship.

The whole point of life is to be confused and be driven by these confusions. We do not 100% know ourselves from the get go and must experience, adventure, hurt and grow to learn more about who we are each day. Others do not have the answers and loving life independently makes outward love much easier to achieve. Relationships should not be sought out to distract us from the uncertainties within ourselves, but instead to open doors to wild, epic opportunities that are that much better with someone else by our side.