PSA: Converse and Vans Do Not Work on Ice

Cold weather, icy conditions and academic dread all come together to make the final weeks of the semester something special, in a very slippery, no-good way. The not-so-very ‘dead week’ looms on the horizon and many students will either be left stressing about finals — or lying concussed in front of the duck pond from slipping on the ice. Students need to plan their walks across campus in advance, instead of waiting to think about it until they’re lying on the ground.

Some students seem to be swearing by their Vans and Converse despite the very real threat to their health. All students wearing untreaded shoes for the sake of comfort or fashion are constantly slipping while walking to class. For example, one nameless opinion reporter was observed slipping in a manner that resembled a Scooby-doo chase scene. Both shoes seemed to escape at their terminal velocity as inertia thoroughly humbled the young reporter.

It goes without saying that there is a wide variety of more practical footwear options available for keeping you upright.

There is, unfortunately, no workers’ compensation for pulling a Charlie Brown-esque fall onto the ice right in front of the duck pond. As finals week progresses, Bobcats, be sure to wear some warm shoes with good tread and walk safely to class.