Cruzaldo Set to Tussle a Grizzly

DISCLAIMER: This is a satirical piece. It does not necessarily represent the views of the Exponent or its writers and should not be construed as truth.

Every year the MSU alumni basketball game brings together present and past Bobcat fans alike to enjoy a fun-filled contest supporting the MSU Men’s and Women’s Basketball Teams. This year the game is drawing more attention than usual, as last week MSU’s President, Waldo Cruzaldo, announced that she is going to wrestle a grizzly bear during halftime. This was later confirmed by the Montana Grizzly Encounter based out of Bozeman, Mont. in a statement explaining that MSU has coordinated with them to allow Cruzaldo to wrestle their largest male grizzly on hand.

The halftime bout has raised a lot of questions throughout campus and the Bozeman community. According to sources, several individuals close to Cruzaldo have discouraged her from wrestling the bear, but she has remained headstrong, stating, “If [Pladimir] Vutin can ride a bear, why can’t I wrestle one?” She also went on to exclaim, “Once I pin this poor bear, there will be no discussion on whether a grizzly is better than a bobcat, something that shouldn’t have ever been questioned in the first place.”

President Cruzaldo wrestled in her youth, but has not participated in any known matches as of late. She reportedly has been training at MSU’s recreation center for the past few months in preparation for the legendary brawl. WWE Superstar Gregg Gianforty, reached out to Cruzaldo hoping to get in on the fight, but there is no word yet on whether or not he will be participating.

The alumni game will take place Saturday, April 7 at Worthington Arena. Tickets go on sale Saturday, March 31 at the MSU ticket offices. General admission tickets run $15 for the event, and student tickets will cost $8.