COVID-19 pandemic allows ducks to reclaim homeland

DISCLAIMER: This is a satirical piece. It does not necessarily represent the views of the Exponent or its writers. 

As the recent COVID-19 outbreak takes a toll on the economy, there appears to be a brighter future in store for the environment. Images have been populating the internet of less polluted skies over China and crystal-clear waters in the canals of Venice revealing schools of fish. Changes are occurring all across the globe, and our campus is no different. Our beloved ducks from the duck pond are finally grasping their opportunity to take over the entirety of campus. 

The notorious duck pond, situated in the middle of campus, is occupied regularly by countless ducks and frequent sightseers. This small area was once confined by the constant hustle and bustle of students and staff strolling about, but as classes have moved online, that confinement has been diminished. The ducks have extended their dwelling areas to all parts of campus.

The exceptional Rendezvous Dining Pavilion has not only been serving the few students that remain on campus over the past two weeks, but now also the ducks. Routinely, a gaggle of ducks will file in a line outside and be escorted into the dining hall by an employee. Rendezvous has even gone far enough to dedicate an hour every day for the ducks to stop by. Further, they have created an assortment of food that meets the needs of the attending ducks. Popular diet options include cracked corn, rice and raw vegetables. If the cooks are feeling generous, they will prepare dirt pudding cups with real earthworms substituted for the gummy worms.

While spring brings warmer weather, more ducks and various other bird species will return north to Bozeman for the upcoming summer. It is estimated that up to 30,000 birds will inhabit all lengths of campus by the end of summer. This amount is approximately double the current number of students enrolled at MSU. While the exact date students will be able to come back to campus may be up in the air, one thing is for sure. The ducks will be taking our place until then.