DISCLAIMER: This is a satirical piece. It does not necessarily represent the views of the Exponent or its writers and should not be construed as truth.

The Big Sky state of Montana attracts an eclectic bunch of outdoorsmen and -women. The town of Bozeman showcases just about all of them. The key to loving the great outdoors is finding your way to play, whether it be hiking for an afternoon ski down Bradwey’s or taking a quick morning lap on Levepoor before work. As you might consider a tent to be necessary to ensure a dry night of sleep, seasons are essential for whichever outdoor adventure you desire. With the changing climate, some seasons may flourish while others may wither.

In our whimsical little town, you could find yourself summiting Sacajawea Peek at sunset with the mountain goats meandering about. You might enjoy camping in the back of your truck for a spring ski vacation in the Bearteeths. You could also easily end up floating down the Madi River, beverage in hand and a grin on your face. Mother Nature has endless festivities for us, but the pay-to-play doesn’t strike just your bank account. This wondrous outdoor playground we all thrive in could be in for a whirl of drastic changes… for worse or for better, we shall see.

Some of these weather-reliant sports could be facing a brutal decline while others might see a steady incline. Let’s take a look at the winners and losers of the climate change crisis.

Bozeman offers a handful of trails, all good for hikers, bikers and even the fitness-crazed runners. These trails are good for as long as they are dry. Once the snow hits, these cardio-lovers are forced to find other hobbies. With global warming, that really only means shorter winters and longer summers, which is a win for the likes of these guys.

Now for big-spender sports such as skiing, fishing and kayaking; the future isn’t so bright. Once the winters shorten, the snow will go to hell and the skiers will bail to chase snow elsewhere (sorry Bridger Plate bums, this could be your farewell). Due to lack of snowmelt, the rivers and streams will diminish in the spring and will therefore be merely just a memory come summertime. The rivers will be too shallow for the crazy ‘yakers and dry flies will be impossible to land for the fishermen. 

You may be wondering- well what’s left of Bozeman?. Your famous Cold Smoke turns will evaporate, your evening float on the Yellowrock River might be more of a walk, and the catch of the day may have wings, ‘cause that’s all you get when you’re fishin’ for flies. But hey, you’ll still be able to watch the wild bison frolicking through Yellowrock National Park—at least until the Yellowrock supervolcano erupts and ends us all.