Marta Steward donates $100 million to School of Art

DISCLAIMER: This is a satirical piece. It does not necessarily represent the views of the Exponent or its writers.

MSU's College of Arts & Architecture has received a $100 million donation from legendary television personality and businesswoman Marta Steward. While visiting  Bozeman to explore the local art scene to include in her upcoming book “Quintisential Quaint and Quirky Towns West of the Mississippi,” Steward was given a tour of the campus. Included in this tour was a walkthrough of the buildings used predominantly by students enrolled in the School of Arts and Architecture, including Haynes Hall, the Visual Communication Building and Cheever. 

Steward was alarmed at the condition and appearance of the buildings and acted immediately.     

“I couldn’t believe that these young people are trying to work and create in buildings that were constructed before I started committing fraud,” she said with a smile and a laugh.

“The architecture and cold concrete walls of Haynes made me feel like I was back in prison as well as the lack of ventilation and poor lighting in the VCB.” As an individual with a degree in architectural history, Steward confidently added “Cheever is, by far, the most confusing building layout I have ever seen”.

As a long time supporter of the arts, Steward decided to donate a large sum of money totaling $100 million to the School of Art. This money will be used to, in her words “make it less dank.” The donations came with a few requirements and stipulations as outlined by Steward. A handful of her books will be required reading for incoming freshmen including “Marta Steward's Hors D'Oeuvres” and “Great American Wreaths”. A new foundation class requirement titled Marta’s Musts (MRMU) will be put in place for all incoming Bobcat art students. This class will cover everything from flower arrangement, gardening, dessert cooking and money-saving tips.     

More information about future construction and curriculum changes will be reported as released.