Super Bowl Picks

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (11-5) vs. Kansas City Chiefs (14-2) (-3.5)

@ 4:30 p.m. on CBS 

BEAU: I woke the morning of Sunday, Jan. 24, proclaiming that the Bills—Packers Super Bowl would be one of the greatest games of the decade, and that every box store in the country would sell out of foldable tables when Josh Allen hoisted victory over his head at the post-game ‘Bardi party. By Sunday evening I was curled up in the fetal position in my shower, fully clothed. As far as I’m concerned, at this point, anything goes and, in the age of Brady, it’s hard not to call the Buccaneers anything less than an offensive swash-buckler with a ravenous appetite for golden rings. As much as I hate to say it, Brady’s got the ‘Bardi in the bag.

KC 24, TB 36

MEREDITH: Despite their win over the Green Bay Packers, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers still managed to bring in less total yardage, less possession time, fewer first downs and more turnovers than the Chiefs in their NFC Championship game. Tom Brady had three interceptions in back-to-back-to-back drives. The Chiefs’ win over the Bills was more convincing. Patrick Mahomes had no interceptions over 300 yards of passing and the Chiefs dominated the possession time. With Mahomes’ ability to read the field, make game-winning plays and with the adrenaline pumping for a second-straight win, Mahomes can have this Super Bowl added to his accomplishments. Brady and his team must stop Mahomes’s ability to find openings downfield for a chance to collect his tenth Super Bowl. I say the Chiefs will bring this one home.  

KC 31, TB 27

JAXSON: The Chiefs have been rolling through the playoffs. In the AFC Championship KC snapped the Bills’ eight-game-win streak to reach their second Super Bowl under the Patrick Mahomes era. Against the Bills, the Chiefs were able to shut down QB Josh Allen and march up and down the field with ease. Mahomes had 325 passing yards and three TDs. The Chiefs are undefeated on the road (8-0), largely eliminating any home-field advantage that Tampa may have. On Sunday, Feb. 7, the Chiefs will lift the Vince Lombardi Trophy once again, Mahomes will repeat as Super Bowl MVP and the Chiefs will etch their names into the history books as the NFL’s newest dynasty. 

KC 38, TB 31

GABE: Ahoy dear readers. You have reached the life-model decoy of Gabe Barnard, for the real Gabe is not available at this time. You see, the truth is real Gabe had no idea which teams were even playing in the Super Bowl until he googled it approximately ten seconds ago. Having a knowledge of football equivalent to that of a rock, Gabe simply did not know how one makes a “sports pick” and, faced with the profoundly daunting task of trying to decipher online analyses of the two teams (which he also googled), he simply left his body. Literally, he is currently staring at his computer screen having expended his last brain cell trying to catch up with the fact that the New England Patriots staple Tom Brady no longer plays for the Patriots, and that evidently the secret to making it to the Super Bowl is simply having a Tom Brady on your team. Anyways, I am here in Gabe’s place to make a Super Bowl prediction, and I think the Buccaneers have a more swashbuckling mascot than the Chiefs. The Chiefs will find themselves walking the rickety plank of the “Tom Brady’s Revenge”. 

KC 0, TB 1

GRACE: Here’s a hot take: I know absolutely nothing about football. Literally not a thing, besides that a team gets points for a touchdown, and maybe a few more points for a field goal. But I can tell you this — I know the Kansas City Chiefs have been anything but memorable for pretty much my entire 21 years of life, and I know this because they are the favorite team of one of my close friends. I’ve endured many a sob story from this friend when the Chiefs predictably lose a game as his mother hails from Kansas City, and quite frankly, I’m rather sick of it. So all I’m saying is, if the Chiefs lose, somebody better come pick me up off the floor.

KC WINNING, TB LOSING